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cheap date
Thursday, September 14 2000
I've figured out that the only love life I can afford for the time being here in Los Angeles is masturbation. The last time I got anywhere with a woman was a week ago at the Firm in Beverly Hills, when a dumpy chick at the bar gave me a shot of tequila and convinced me to take her phone number. The total cost of that particular evening had been 40 bucks, yet I didn't come anywhere close to getting laid. To get laid via LA bar protocol would take a few more 40 dollar evenings and at least one three figure "dinner & a movie." What with my fiscal situation, that's not even an option; I might as well not bother going to bars at all. I figure the next least expensive step above my present low-budget love life would be to hire a cheap hooker.
Still, there's plenty to see in LA to provide the cast, crew and script for a satisfying heterosexual male fantasy. Just today as I was preparing to cross Texas Street with my burden of heavy grocery bags from Ralph's, an attractive young lady driving by caught my eye for such a persistent stare that I thought she might rear-end the guy in front of her. As cheap dates go, this wasn't bad; it left me feeling energized the rest of the evening. In Los Angeles, it seems, they have drive-by everything, including drive-by romance.
Share your suggestions for a cheap date.
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