Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



links

decay & ruin
Biosphere II
Chernobyl
dead malls
Detroit
Irving housing

got that wrong
Paleofuture.com

appropriate tech
Arduino μcontrollers
Backwoods Home
Fractal antenna

fun social media stuff


Like asecular.com
(nobody does!)

Like my brownhouse:
   didn't even exist
Monday, May 21 2001
I kind of like the fact that I work in a building that actually has people in it now. There are some attractive young ladies on my floor.

The only time I pay any attention to the so-called Online Journal Community is when something really fucked-up happens in it. I can usually rely on such an event happening every six months or so. (I take some pride in the fact that I play a fairly large role in about 25% of them but I can't even remember what the last one was about.) The most recent wave of chaos involves the supposed death of an online journal keeper named Kaycee, a hot young blond chick who rose to stardom as a member of the generally vapid and phenomenally non-intellectual CollegeClub.com community (for which I was, at the time, employed as a developer). Facilitating Kaycee's glamorous ascendancy was none other than CollegeClub's in-house personality John Halcyon Styn. In addition to how delicious she looked when assuming doggy-style positions in masturbational fantasies, Kaycee's story had a tragically compelling aspect as well. She suffered, she said, from the dreaded congenital disease leukemia. With each chronicled setback followed by each Godsent remission, she had her audience increasingly wrapped around her fingers. The gathering clouds of doom did much to compensate for the saccharine platitudes and rainbow-enhanced cyberhugs she so unhesitatingly offered to weary web travelers. But a week or so ago her white blood cells rallied and staged something of coup and she up and kicked the bucket. Various parts of the web immediately went black with grief.
The reason I can make such irreverent fun of this somber tale is that Kaycee was, it turns out, a complete fiction. She'd won the hearts and minds (and yes, even donations) of fans and sympathizers throughout the web, and it turns out that she didn't even exist. That's right, not only did Kaycee never die, but she never lived either. The cyberhugs, the rampant multiplying white blood cells, the teddy bears, the chemotherapy, the contraband medicinal marijuana, the rainbows, the unicorns, the :)s, the {hugs}, the overabundant exclamation marks, the lavish use of pink, the N'Sync concerts, the signed limited-edition Backstreet Boys posters (I never read her site so now I'm just making stuff up.), it was all entirely virtual.
The perpetrator of this hoax now appears to be a needy, desperate woman with an unhealthy interest in Halcyon and the ability to convincingly manufacture the banal fluff of an überconventional corn-fed middle-American nineteen-year-old college girl.

a few Kaycee-related links

Kaycee's obnoxious CollegeClub.com site
Metafilter.com
Vodkatea.com
Xeney.com
Yahoo group links (most comprehensive)

Check out some of my fictional personalities:

Bobby the Eight-Year-Old Spanking Victim
Intelligent Man
Rosebud the Pleasant Christian Lady

These also seem dubious:

Cut While Shaving
Nova Notes

For linking purposes this article's URL is:
http://asecular.com/blog.php?010521

feedback
previous | next