Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   Bruce the pit bull
Saturday, February 18 2006
Friends from the City came up today for the long President's Day weekend: Ray, Nancy, Nancy's sister Linda, and Linda's husband Adam. With them they brought three dogs: Ray and Nancy's dog Suzy (a common visitor), Linda and Adam's dog Libby (who has visited before) and a new dog, Bruce, who belongs to Ray's brother Kim. Bruce is a classic pit bull, complete with a huge head, stocky muscular body, and shortish legs. He looks like he's wearing a spiked collar even though he's not. The weather had turned very cold, so Bruce was wearing a specially-tailored magenta-colored sweater.
All the other humans soon left to do lunch in Kingston, leaving me alone with all the dogs. (The cats were all in hiding.) The visitor dogs were still charged up from the drive and gave me no peace as I tried to work in the laboratory. But eventually Bruce the big-headed pit bull settled down beneath my feet. Though he looks like he probably belongs on doggy death row, he is actually very affectionate, thoughtful and cuddly. Kim got Bruce from his boss, an internet billionaire who found the dog wandering in the most unlikely environment for his particular breed: the Hamptons. Bruce suffers from some sort of problem with his back legs that leads him to put very little weight on them. Often he'll walk a few steps on his front paws alone, leaving his hind paws hanging in midair, counterbalanced by his enormous head. Bruce is still hooked up to the good things that come with billionaire rescue: he gets regular acupuncture treatments which cost hundreds of dollars each.


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