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Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   Jeopardy eating rules
Monday, November 26 2007

setting: rural Hurley Township, Ulster County, New York

It was a rainy day and I never shed my pajamas. I didn't used to have or wear pajamas, but I received them as a gift from my sister-in-law over a year ago and I've found they're a great way to cope with suboptimal indoor temperatures.
While we were in Maryland, Gretchen bought a large amount of injera from an Ethiopian grocery store. Injera is that slightly-sour, rubbery flat bread made from teft flour. I refer to it jokingly as "octopus hide" in reference to its many exposed voids, which resemble octopus suction cups. Tonight she prepared a meal based on this injera, although, lacking proper Ethiopian dishes, she substituted pre-packed Indian curries we'd bought at the grocery near Woodland.
I have a tendency to eat too fast, which can be a problem when watching television, as I tend to get fidgety if I'm watching television and I've run out of things to eat. So today I tried to impose some rules on my eating in an effort to slow myself down. This was during the watching of the evidently unwritten game show Jeopardy, a program with a consistent predictable rhythm. (The ongoing writers' strike has kept us from watching the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.) My rule was that I could not begin eating until after the first question was asked, and after a cut to commercial, I couldn't resume eating until the next question had been asked. This meant that all my impatient fidgeting (most of which is entirely mental) would only take place during the most annoying non-game parts of the program.


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