Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   dangerously early phoebe
Wednesday, March 8 2017
Today was predicted to be a warm one, with highs in the upper 60s. This morning while Gretchen and I were drinking Wednesday morning decaf (it's an occasional thing around here), I saw phoebe in the tree of heaven just out the living room window to the east. This would be among the earliest first sightings for a phoebe in this area. Evidently warm weather had allowed phoebes to come north quickly this year, though perhaps this one jumped the gun a bit. While there are insects flying around (there were moths trying to come through the laboratory window during that warm spell in late February), there's a snow followed by a hard freeze predicted for Friday, and I don't know what flycatchers eat when temperatures are in the 20s.

This evening while waiting for a large white shape to dry on the laboratory floor directly in front of my main workstation, I decided to watch whatever Gretchen was watching on the teevee. Normally she'd be watching British murder mysteries or some long-running network drama. But tonight was evidently movie night, and she started out trying to watch Lesbian Vampire Killers. But the soft-core porno treatment of the female characters (with lots of slow-motion shots of jiggling in skimpy outfits) soon grew tiresome, so next Gretchen tried to have us watch some romantic drama involving a nebbishy male protagonist, his jealous girlfriend, and a hot romantic interest. (Looking at the guy, it was hard to imagine these women being attracted to the him. But then we learned he'd written the movie, so it all made sense. Very Woody Allen.) Finally we settled on Double Jeopardy, a crime thriller in which our heroine (played by Ashley Judd) is charged with the murder of her husband after she awakes to find herself covered with his blood and him missing. She gets sent to prison where (perhaps in a realistic portrayal of white privilege) she only serves six years. During that time, she learns that her husband had faked his death and run off with the friend with whom she'd entrusted her son. Soon thereafter, she is given some legal advice by a fellow inmate: if you've been convicted of murdering someone who is still alive, you can kill that person and the government is powerless against it, since trying you for another murder of the same person amounts to "double jeopardy." And there's your title. How this all plays out, well, I won't spoil it. The movie isn't the most expectation-shattering in the world, though it has its moments.


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