December 19, 1994
Editor
The Staunton Leader
P.O. Box 59
Staunton, Va. 24401
Mr. Editor:
As a concerned parent, I find the notion of masturbation taught in the public schools incredible. Don't we have enough problems with AIDS, fatherless children, sodomy, and other fruits of sexual perversion? Once children, especially little girls, are taught masturbation, they may well never see a use for marriage, and never replenish the nation with cute little babies that we are so desperately in need of. I want to be a grandfather, and the teaching of masturbation will subvert my dreams.
While Mr. Gunter and others placate those promoting unBiblical deeds, there are still a few courageous men left in our nation; men like Frank Nolan, who would bring back spanking to cure the violence in our schools; and Oliver North, a righteous patriot who has certainly never masturbated and has consistently stuck up for our flag despite foolish laws.
Men like these need to be commemorated in a Mt. Rushmore of family values, their faces carved into Afton Mountain, looking out over a massive Disney Theme Park stretching from the Blue Ridge to North Mountain (with due room left for the turkey houses). And more five lane roads need to be built and named after these men, in the Valley tradition, while they are still alive.
Sincerely,
Gus Mueller
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