March 23, 1994
Daily News Record
Harrisonburg, Va. 22801
One of the most refreshing things about the Valley, in my experience, has always been the enormous number of very patriotic professional veterans resident here. It is such a joy to open the paper and read of the noble deeds of men who long ago served this country and who nowadays fly the flag high and free and proudly tell of their resolute devotion to God, Country, Heterosexuality, and Christ. All I have to know about a man to gauge his worth is whether he is a veteran or not. Then nothing else matters. I will elect him to any office he seeks.
It is from this outlook that I strongly back Oliver North for US Senator. Here is a true-blue patriotic, heterosexual, abortion-hating, drug-resisting, Disney-Park-supporting American. He will demand the death penalty for the criminal un-Christian among us. He will sponsor legislation to outlaw girlie magazines. He will support legislation for universal All Terrain Vehicle access to the National Forest. With him as Senator, this nation will be put on the right track so that it can go into the future both strong and free, never looking back or saying "It cannot be done."
previous | next
home | satire page | letters to the editor