Does your neighbor prefer to read books, instead of watching television? Read Books    Watch TV Instead of supporting the economy with an SUV, do they instead drive a cheap, foreign-made, economical car? SUV    Cheap Foreign Car Have you ever seen your neighbor riding a bicycle when they should be driving a car? Yes    No Do they enjoy watching football games in sports bars, or do they instead read newspapers in coffee houses? Sports Bars    Coffee Houses Do they spend an inordinate amount of time on the Internet? Yes    No Shopping Examine their shopping cart. What types of food do they buy? Do they buy cereal and American-made processed foods, or do they instead purchase large quantities of rice, fresh fruit, hummus, and pita bread? Wonder Bread, Mayonaise and Ground Round Hummus and Pita Bread Do they drink large quantities of Mountain Dew? Yes    No Do they buy excessive quantities of deodorant? Yes    No Have they ever mentioned they didn't want to purchase an item with the American flag on it? Yes    No Family & Home Do they have several children, or are they mysteriously childless? Children    No Children Are their lawns well-manicured? Yes    No Have you ever seen them trimming their lawns or topping their trees with box cutters? Yes    No Peek through their windows. Do they have an American flag correctly and prominently displayed? Yes    No Do they celebrate patriotic American hoildays? Yes    No Prior to major American holidays like Flag Day, invite them for dinner and ask questions like, "So, what will you be doing Monday?" It's a good idea to secretly examine their trash on a periodic basis and save or photograph evidence you think might help uncover potential terrorists. Take a stroll down your street. Which houses are missing the appropriate decorations for the time of year? Which are missing a well-decorated Christmas tree and lights? Which do not have Fourth of July decorations? Which are missing an American flag? (this is an obvious sign of a terrorist's house.) Appearance What type of clothing do they wear? Do they wear items purchased from the Gap, or are they "Extreme"? The Gap    "Extreme" Do they have an eyebrow piercing? Yes    No Is their hair neatly combed, or do they style it in a flamboyant fashion? Normal    Flamboyant Are they clean-shaven? Yes    No Do they practice Tae Kwon Do or Karate? Yes    No Are they "Artistic"? Yes    No