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tachycardia-excessively rapid heartbeat, especially from overindulgence in certain drugs, particularly Ritalin and Nutmeg. It can be scary, but unless a lethal dose was ingested, all will be fine. Try not to freak out.

take-away-food that is purchased at a restaurant but that is eaten elsewhere. Frequently take-away is obtained via a drive-through window. Some people are able to understand the voices they hear through the intercom link by which drive-through take-away is ordered, but these people are few and far between. As a result, most people experience at least a few surprises when they examine the things handed them at the drive-through window. The term "take-away" has origins in England and was introduced into the lingo of the Gus by the John Cleese movie Clockwise.

Tandem School-the local Charlottesville hippie school; it's on 20 South on the way from Charlottesville to Big Fun. Supposedly the school is highly progressive, so much so that it is being absorbed by the Quakers, the folks who make that cool oatmeal.

Matthew Hart attended Tandem until he turned 18, then he dropped out. Matt's feelings about Tandem are, as one might expect, not altogether very positive; the number of lesbian wanna-bes there had always nauseated him. Morgan and Ray have more polarized feelings about Tandem; a year or so ago, they went on a spray paint rampage both there and at UVA's rotunda (where a copy of the Declaration of Independence is kept), but were busted and forced to pay all manner of restitution.

Other people who have attended or currently attend Tandem include: Karah -------, Deya, Red-headed Diana, Allie Vining, and that woman Raphæl who may still work at Millers. Ray Snabley and Jατασyα also went there briefly.

tapestries-decorative sheets that hang from the ceilings and walls of hippie pads and dorm rooms. Tapestries are not considered cool at Big Fun, however, where the Gus sardonically wrote "tapestries encourage more love." Ironically, tapestries hanging from the ceilings of Big Fun might well make individual rooms there easier to heat. But simply because Big Fun is the one place on earth where tapestries have a practical application isn't reason enough for the Big Fun residents to go down that clichéd path.

Tarot-with special decks of cards and interpretive books, it is possible to foretell someones future or answer their most perplexing questions according to those who believe in the power of Tarot. Tarot works much as does astrology, except instead of one interpreting the unmutable positions of planets at the time of someones birth, one interprets the arrangement of cards from a Tarot deck shuffled with conviction by the answer seeker.

At Big Fun, Tarot readings are conducted with some regularity, and without fail, the person whose cards are interpreted is profoundly struck by how uncannily the Tarot cards delve into the minutia of the questions posed to them. What makes Tarot a good complement to astrology is that it is so immediate. Not much can be done about ones astrological chart, but Tarot readings change every time they are done, and the readings frequently speak in a way that is much less inhibited than even ones closest friends.

tattoo-a permanent artificial inscription made with ink in the skin of a life form. Big Fun is full of pro-tattoo talk, but the only people there who have had tattoos for any amount of time are Shira, Morgan and Peggy.

The reticence concerning tattooing in the Big Fun environment is related to the indecisiveness that attends being an air sign. It is difficult to think of any tattoo that anyone would be happy living with for the next sixty years. Everyone thinks "Big Fun" would be a good tattoo, but what would it be like having that on your arm even ten years from now? And "Big Fun" just invites trouble when we inevitably end up in prison. Perhaps astrological symbols would make for good tattoos; after all Matthew Hart is always going to be an Aquarius, and he's always going to be proud of that fact. But where should the tattoo go? How will this affect his future?

During this indecisive period, there were those who would permit themselves to be tattooed in any way anyone wanted to. They just sat there and took it. Fruits. The night of May 5th, 1996, Shira and Sara were in the kitchen holding fruits up to their ears and asking them about their astrology. Sara kept saying "Fruits are people too." Then she would hold them down and stick them repeatedly with a needle wrapped with thread soaked in India ink. The grapefruits turned out to be Libras, a lemon was an Aquarius, a banana was a Gemini, and among the oranges could be found a Scorpio, a Leo, a Cancer, a Taurus, a Sagittarius and a Virgo.

Some days later, people finally mustered enough courage to tattoo themselves and each other. Zachary received a "Big Scary Monster" tattoo, complete with both the icon and the descriptive phrase. He also put an anarchy symbol on his leg. Matthew Hart received the Aquarius symbol on his upper right arm, and Peggy was inscribed with a little stylized sun.

Taurus-the 2nd sign of the zodiac. The sun passes through this sign in late April through mid May. This sign is a fixed earth sign and people born with heavenly bodies, the horizon, or most particularly the sun in it tend to be practical, incredulous, conservative, and tranquil. The sign is typical of relatively uninteresting people who can get the job done reliably. Some Tauri are so earthy that their conversations inevitably turn to sex and defecation, which can be interesting, for awhile anyway. Famous people who have Taurus for a sun sign include Harry Truman, Ulysses S. Grant, Fred Astaire, Barbara Streisand, Malcom X, and (eek!) Cher. Tauri known to Big Fun include Steve Weiner, Jasio and Thadius John Burch. Taurus is not much of an astrological sign to be proud of; at KMH Hightower, a trendy boutique on the Downtown Mall, one can find two different kinds of Aries pendants and one each of every other astrologic pendant except for Taurus; they don't carry Taurus pendants!

Taurus rising-this particular rising sign seems to have an especially large impact on Big Fun in as much as at least four members of the extended Big Fun community are afflicted with it: Jessika, the Gus, Farrell, and Theresa Venesian.

People with Taurus rising are, as Sara has stated, "all over" free stuff. They don't care how valueless the free stuff is that they obtain, they'll still bring it home. Jessika frequently brings home blue Arizona® bottles and decomposing dead animals. Why? Because they are free. Farrell has the connections necessary to obtain free furniture and the first recipient thereof is usually Big Fun. Jessika and the Gus love to go dumpster diving, and have at times been satisfied with stuff as worthless as metal conduit (see "pea shooter"). Theresa's habit of bowl scraping verges on the pathological; Ray tells of her scraping bowls just purchased from the headshop in hopes that somewhere in there santa clause resin could somehow be found.

Those with Taurus rising also have a more sinister side; they hate spending money so much that they sometimes steal stuff just on principle (see "Jehu End of the World Party").

While they delight in obtaining stuff, people with Taurus rising are never ones to be greedy with their loot; usually they redistribute what they obtain to their friends. They also treat information, concepts and philosophies with the same collector spirit, fully acquainting themselves with a subject simply because it is an interest of a friend or foe.

Capricorn rising (Deya's ascendant) is similar in effect to Taurus rising, though it is characterized by more pragmatism and strategy and by less obsessiveness and dumb luck. Virgo rising (the Pegger) results in an obsession on acquiring practical skills with little attention paid to physical things unless those things have direct and immediate utilitarian applications.

techno-a genré of dance music descended mostly from 70s disco, with strong influences from early 80s synthesizer pop, hip hop, "World Music" and Reggæ. In techno, everything has been de-emphasized except for the beat, which is monotonous and endless. The music is not designed to be appreciated in a cerebral context; lyrics are frequently tribal screams or chanted mantras largely about sex. The music is mostly for the pelvis, the sex organs, and the viscera. The more hip-hop form of techno is called "house music."

Techno is commonly played at raves, but few individuals inflict it on their friends using their home stereos, except for Leslie Montalto's housemate in Oberlin, Ohio, in the year '95-'96.

television-the box that allows us to delegate our imaginations to well-paid professionals. There is a lot of hostility in alternative culture to the television; thus the common bumpersticker which reads "Kill Your Television."

And it should come as no surprise that Big Fun has a strongly anti-television sentiment. There is a photo of Peggy and Jessika, resembling zombies, watching a glowing screen; this photo is often used to demonstrate why Big Fun and television are inherently incompatible. But television is not to be confused with movies; to watch videotaped versions of movies is considered an appropriate use of a television. Another appropriate use of television at Big Fun is to create an unromantic ambiance in a room to curtail the ardour of friends.

We of Generation Houseguest were all raised on television and it is our common culture. It homogenizes us, manipulates us, and, most of all, occupies us. While the television has squandered more brain-hours than every pass-time since sleep was invented, it is the way the world is seen these days, and it is possible to utilize the television's perspective without being sucked in. For several years the Gus watched 18 or more hours of television each day. He thought by so doing he was performing the ultimate act of rebellion. For to fully know the enemy, one must bravely meet him in his own kingdom. An example of fully knowing the enemy is the movie Natural Born Killers, where the idiom of television is so masterfully parodied that I feel unworthy to finish this definition.

Temple of Anastasia-what the Malvern Girls initially planned to call their house on Fairview Farms, the house referred to in this glossary as Big Fun. It seems they were moved by the historical significance of the close proximity of Anastasia, who at one time lived in the mansion. Perhaps they wish Anastasia would take a little time out of her eternity to come and haunt Big Fun too.

Temple of the Dome of the Rock of the Mount-what Sara Poiron and the Gus call the holiest of holies in Jerusalem, the place where the Wailing Wall and Dome of the Rock stand in uneasy proximity. Sara has an idea that if someone, perhaps Don Mueller, could sneak to Jerusalem and blow the whole thing to kingdom come, a global nuclear war could be sparked and we could all die with the assurance that no one would be left on the world to have fun in our absence.

tequila-a liquor distilled from the fermented substance of the Mexican Agave plant. At Big Fun, Matthew Hart is particularly fond of tequila, especially Two Fingers Tequila which comes in the blackout black bottles. Jessika often drinks tequila even though her most embarrassing behaviour has occurred under its influence. The Gus is careful with tequila ever since a party at Redheaded Diana's back in September 1995 in which he drank the stuff to excess; the hangover the next day left him with only about 50% of his IQ points (while driving home he missed the I-64 exit on US 29 South).

The Gus wonders why US Customs allows tequila (which makes a person insane) into the USA while not allowing in kind buds (which make a person behave).

Tad playing guitar on the Downtown Mall. Photo by Jonathan Hayward, Summer 1996

Thadius John Burch-called "Tad" by everyone who knows him (and nearly everyone in Charlottesville does), this tall thirty-something Taurus is often seen on the Downtown Mall, hailing his friends, talking endlessly to whoever will listen, or playing one of his many guitars. Everything about him is done in the same style, a style that requires you to be quiet or engage in a holding pattern while he unhaltingly expresses himself. While he can talk without interruption for hours at a stretch, he is an exceptionally poor listener. And while he can play a mean guitar and conform it to whatever anyone else is playing, he does not seem to know how to wind down or make room for other instruments. Such personality traits do not seem as annoying if one views Tad as a guru or street philosopher and not as a friend.

While meaningful dialogue with Tad is difficult, he is a generous person and a good contact for information about unscheduled events that occur in and around Charlottesville. As well connected as Tad is to the hum of the streets, he is a good source of informal unwritten news about, say, what crimes the police are currently investigating or what scores are going to be settled by what ruffians.

Tad walks with a limp that resulted from his having fallen off of a truck some years ago. Because of this, his mobility is limited. He frequently takes advantage of transportation offered by friends with cars. Tad was able to attend the infamous house warming party at Big Fun when the Gus drove him there in the Punch Buggy Green.

that which is birth control-a condom. In this country, condoms are used for only one complete sexual cycle of a man. In third world countries where $0.25-$0.75/fuck is prohibitively expensive (adding a substantial percentage even to the market-value price of prostitution), condoms are rinsed out and reused as long as they appear to have no punctures in them.

that which spawned-a parent of; to say, as has been said, "That which spawned Jessika" could be a reference to either Jessika's mother (an Aquarius) or father (a Leo).

that's so fucked I can't believe it-in the movie Suburbia, when all the punks are being forced to move out of their cool crash pad, one of the girls says, "that's so fucked I can't believe it." That line, like many in the movie, struck a chord with Big Fun people, and whenever something kind of bad happens, you can bet one of us will use it.

there might be a god after all-on days following the use of Tussin, the weather always seems to be warm and sunny, even though most of the winter of '95-'96 has been horrible. For some reason, the Gus feels pleasant and content after a night of Tussin abuse, and he is given to saying such corny things as "there might be a god after all."

The Boy Jesse and the Weirdo Dan are going to BE there!
Theresa strikes a pose in black and white.

Theresa Venesian-from a large urban New York Italian family that moved to Virginia to follow the teachings of the Swami Satchininanda, Theresa, a Cancer, is the "goth" of the family. She has a history of interactions with most of the regulars of Big Fun, and she thrives in the presence of such history. Theresa loves sex and will unabashedly tell you how very much she does. Conversationally, she is exceptionally engaging, doing such things as repeatedly winking and delving directly into uncomfortable subjects. Theresa's conversational quickness strays at times into stereotype; for example, she divides the world into three groups, namely "The Boys," "The Girls," and "The Weirdos."

With Taurus as her ascendant, she, like Farrell, is one of the most generous people in the Big Fun environment, though she is also known to make demands, particularly of waitstaff at restaurants and Pisces such as Raphæl and the Weirdo Dan. Theresa's obnoxious and at times revolting behaviour in restaurants has induced Matthew Hart to leave enormous tips and claim that he will never again eat at a restaurant with her. As a waitress at Millers, Theresa apparently has an attitude that is not conducive to big tips; she has been known to receive rocks as gratuities. But life glides happily along despite insult. There are, after all, the good things to be had in life. And, in the service of Taurus rising, some of these can be obtained for free. For example, Theresa is never at a loss for how to obtain santa clause; she always manages to scrape one more smoke out of any bowl you loan her.

In addition to occasional visits to Big Fun, Theresa enjoys hanging out with the Brazilian Girls and other goths whom no one even knew existed until the Vitamen show of Friday, April 12th, 1996. Her boyfriend, Persad, finally arrived from California after much anticipation. He and Theresa are living in an apartment together after spending a few days living at Big Fun in mid May, 1996.

therewith-a fancier way of say "with." A more literary style of speech has come into vogue at Big Fun from the synergistic effects of conversations between Matthew Hart, the Gus and Sara Poiron.

third number-a means of making long distance phone calls and billing them to a third and otherwise uninvolved number. This practice lead to a block being placed on the Big Fun telephone. When Jατασyα's daddy noted a 60 minute phone call from Big Fun to the Shaque of the Gus (in Staunton, Virginia) on his phone bill, Jατασyα had to cough up the $12 it cost; ever since Jατασyα has not been a friend of the residents of Big Fun.

thirty dollar proposition-an offer of money-thirty dollars is the going rate-in exchange for the privilege of performing fellatio upon someone. Usually the person offering the money is a homosexual man somewhat or much older than the person to whom the money is offered, who is usually an avowedly heterosexual teenage boy. The details of this economic relationship are to be found in the article "The Social Integration of Queers and Peers" by Albert J. Reiss, Jr. on pages 656-673 in the excellent book Deviant Behavior: A Text-Reader in the Sociology of Deviance, edited by Delos H. Kelly, ©1984, St. Martin's Press, New York.

The Gus has been offered the thirty dollar proposition on several occasions. The first time it was only a twenty dollar proposition, but that was back in 1987 in Washington, DC, and the guy making the offer claimed to be one of Ronald Reagan's official photographers. Most recently, the Gus was propositioned while hitch hiking from Charlottesville to Staunton by a guy who claimed he was "good at giving blowjobs" and "it won't take long." Matthew Hart received the thirty dollar proposition while under the influence of vitamin L in Richmond. Neither Aquarian accepted any of these thirty dollar propositions, though there are those known to Big Fun who have found the proposition to be an easy source of money.

thrash-speed metal with an especially strong punk influence. While in general speed metal musicians pride themselves on their talent and knowledge of music theory, thrash musicians laugh at such concepts or else skillfully conceal their acquaintance with them. Examples of thrash bands: DRI, Tool, some Suicidal Tendencies, and even some Black Flag.

Despite their mostly negative feelings about heshers, Big Fun people generally will tolerate metal influence in their music. Thus Black Flag and particularly any band that includes Henry Rollins gets substantial play at Big Fun. Furthermore, guitarists who play with Needlework frequently employ a thrash style that is acceptable to the other members of the band. In response to the above definition, Shira would like to make it known that she absolutely hates Henry Rollins because he is a sexist poet who writes about, among other appalling things, stomping on girls' faces until they have the consistency of goo.

ticks-eight-legged arthropods known by scientists as Dermacentor spp. They feed from the blood of several hosts in a series, starting with rodents when very small (The Audubon Society Field Guide to North American Insects and Spiders by Lorus and Margery Milne, Chanticleer Press, ©1980, page 928).

It is said by some that the heads of ticks can live autonomously for years if they hold on tight and their bodies are ripped off of them. This doesn't seem biologically possible, but it is a scary thought. To ensure that the whole tick comes off when you pull it, it is advisable to soak the little space alien in alcohol first.

Ticks are one of the big drawbacks to the otherwise idyllic Jατασyα Season. At Big Fun, there is constant fear that one of us will come down with Lyme disease, which is one of many illnesses spread by ticks. The Dragon is host to dozens of ticks and they cannot possibly be removed from her fast enough. She yelps pathetically as they are yanked off. In May, Matthew Hart said that every time he removed an article of clothing from himself, he discovered more ticks.

Tiger Fuel-the gas company that had made the Malvern Girls wait two weeks for a fuel delivery only to do absolutely nothing. When called and asked about this, Tiger Fuel explained no fuel could be delivered because the Malvern Girls had no credit. This launched Sara Poiron into a fury so fundamental that she initiated her "Boycott Tiger Fuel" campaign which involved her writing at least one very nasty letter with intentions of writing many more. She also expressed an intention to leaflet the Downtown Mall.

Later she made plans to commit suicide by hanging herself in front Tiger Fuel after first setting the place on fire. Of course, I think her vitriol shifted to some other enemy before anything very terrible actually happened to Tiger Fuel. Tiger Fuel is a subsidiary of Exxon Corp.

Tokyo Rose-out on US 250 West in Ivy Square, this Sushi Bar has a dark and seedy basement where the best punk rock shows in all of Charlottesville can be seen. Alcohol is easy to smuggle in and cover charges are always low, so a night at Tokyo Rose is never very expensive.

The management does not like to see moshing amongst the audience members, and has even kicked out Matthew Hart for the offense of giving a heavy-metal salute (oddly enough, they were very apologetic about this to both him and his friends and anxiously encouraged him to come back again some future time).

tongue piercing-the tongue is a narrow bit of human flesh, so why not pierce it? Why indeed not. During the 90s, tongue piercing has become a relatively common form of body alteration. It's a fairly hardcore undertaking, but like septum rings, a tongue piercing can be seen, especially if the owner likes to flick his tongue around, and he invariably does.

Usually the metal object that is kept in a pierced tongue is a little "barbell." People with barbells through their tongues enjoy noisily playing it against their teeth or lips. And they are not indisposed to inviting others into such play; they frequently speak of how "cool" it feels for others during kissing and oral sex.

No one at Big Fun has a pierced tongue, though Mellow D was famous for the noises she made while playing with whatever object she kept through her tongue.

torrid affair-an intense and brief sexual adventure between two people, at least one of whom has other sexual commitments.

An example (one of several known) of a torrid affair at Big Fun is that between Stink and Senovia upon Stink's introduction to the Big Fun community. Thinking herself and her brother Pywacket to be the only cats left alive on Earth, Senovia had been agreeing to incestuous intercourse with Pywacket.

But then Stink appeared on the scene. With his wide cheeks and dissimilar body fragrance (implying a lack of familial relation), Stink was obviously a better choice for the making of healthy kittens. But Senovia didn't want to harm her brother's fragile emotions; when in the intimate company of Stink, she looked nervously at the door, wishing she could somehow lock it so her brother could not suddenly walk in.

But as always happens at Big Fun, Pywacket soon found out about what was going on with Stink and Senovia and was thrown into his first real heartbreak. His only solace was the company of humans, but even then he was just used as a pretext for humans to touch each other as they petted him; all around him humans and cats were falling in love and he was being left utterly isolated and rejected.

tour-to follow a band around from one performance to another in a variety of towns. Devotees of the Grateful Dead were famous for following the Dead all over the country, supporting themselves by selling trinkets, food, drugs and concert tickets. It isn't as though the music changes much from one concert to the next since the band remains the same. Of late (especially since the demise of the Grateful Dead), hippies have taken to touring with Phish, which is a dorky variant on the Grateful Dead meets Frank Zappa theme.

Touring might sound ridiculous, but the entire Big Fun scene, including a sizable Philadelphia guest contingent, drove to Lynchburg to catch a performance by Drill for Absentee after having just watched them perform in the Big Fun living room. True to their sense of time, however, the Scottsville punks arrived too late to hear Drill for Absentee. They were drunk and under the influence of santa clause, however, and caused a major stir amongst the very sober middle-school kids that constituted the audience at the venue (a country club that one of the kids had borrowed from his wealthy father). Examples of mayhem included Matthew Hart almost convincing a thirteen year old girl to allow him to draw on her face in permanent magic marker, Sara heckling one of the bands with claims that she was from the wrong side of the tracks, and Ray setting fire to a jacket belonging to a bass player in yet another band.

tour, the-a comprehensive and fully narrated Charlottesville/Scottsville trip that the Malvern Girls feel compelled to give to their visiting Philadelphia friends, as well as guest punk rock and hard core bands. Stops along "the tour" usually include a visit to the Downtown Mall, to the Mudhouse, to Steve Weiner's house, to the Corner, and to Jerusalem and Higher Grounds. Hopefully such legendary personalities as Patrick Reed, Jamie Dyer, Phil Garrett, and Bob Hastings can be found along the way. Recently, the abandoned houses of Fairview Farms (including the Vulture House) have been added to the tour.

tractor-that which does the pulling on the modern American farm. Some farmers are so grateful for the hard work that their tractors do that they actually fall in love with them, composing sonnets to them, having fantasies about them, and, according to one article Johnny Boom Boom clipped out and mailed to Jessika, even having sex with them, though I know not how this is accomplished.

Trax-this is the largest rock and roll concert hall in Charlottesville, located on the way downtown from the Corner. Cover charges at Trax are usually somewhat expensive, on the order of $6. Beer is also expensive and difficult to smuggle in because the bouncer pats people down and even uses a metal detector at the door. The clientele is largely made up of trendy high school kids during the summer, with a majority Wahoo crowd during the rest of the year. The scene is actually rather dull, even though there are pool tables.

If one sneaks back stage, there is usually free beer and even santa clause that can be obtained from whatever band(s) are to play. When the Gus gets very drunk and goes to Trax, he has been known to (a) hop up on the primary bar and serve himself beer for free and (b) steal Rolling Rocks from the cooler at the secondary bar.

trine-an aspect in an astrological chart wherein there is a separation of close to 120 degrees. Astrological entities that trine each other are regarded as being in harmony.

Turtle-one of the guys left behind in Malvern by the departure of the Malvern Girls. Turtle, an Aries, has a reputation for being a mechanical genius. He was the one who figured out how to pirate electricity such that the Malvern community known as Angela's could exist a few rungs above the stone age. At the infamous house warming party, Turtle was there, but he was scarcely seen in as much as he spent the whole night under his Cadillac fixing its suspension, using a string of Christmas Lights as an extension cord. The key to Turtle's genius is his capacity to improvise in this way. Another example of this is how, in April 1996, he finally fixed the Big Fun kitchen sinks, which had been impossibly clogged since the outset. He abandoned most of the plumbing and rearranged the pipes so they simply empty into a large bucket that has to be emptied periodically.

tuss (v)-to experience the effects of ingesting at least four fluid ounces of Tussin DM.

tussin (n)-generic cough syrup. Robitussin is the far more expensive non-generic alternative if you feel you have too much money in your wallet and you want to help a large corporation make record profits.

If one wishes to tuss, not just any tussin will do; you need Tussin DM, because it is the Dextromethorphan Hydrobromide that makes drinking Tussin fun. Furthermore, Tussin used for the purposes of tussing should never have acetaminophine in it. A standard tussing dose of Tussin DM contains 10 mg of Dextromethorphan per little plastic cup, but you don't just do one of those pathetic little cups; you drink at least four ounces. Six ounces is better. Buy those big 12 oz bottles- they contain the most bang for the buck. Most people are usually able to drink Tussin straight without puking, even though the drinking is a miserable experience. Matthew Hart, however, does not appear to be able to keep Tussin in his system for longer than about twenty minutes.

Farrell has perfected a sort of cocktail that contains Tussin DM, tonic water, lemon, and perhaps some kind of alcoholic beverage. It is marginally to acceptably drinkable, but one must drink a lot in order to tuss.

tussin city-after one sits immobile for awhile while tussing, it is easy to forget how profoundly one has been affected by the Dextromethorphan. But if one then rises to his feet and walks around, he will quickly be reminded of the tussin. The process of being suddenly so reminded is termed "tussin city."

tussin euphoria-drinking Tussin is such a terrible experience, there must be some reason the degenerate youth of today do it. That reason is tussin euphoria. Tussin euphoria is a mental condition where everything seems to be in a perfect state of harmony. All your friends are cool and all your new acquaintances you feel to be friends. You crave nothing, not sex, not food, not alcohol, perhaps not cigarettes (but I don't know, I don't smoke). And of course, you never have an urge to cough.

Tussin Tree, the(1)-a little juniper tree that the Gus and Jessika gathered outside Big Fun prior to Christmas, 1995. The Gus decorated it with Tussin bottles and little cut outs from Tussin packaging (there were many such things in Big Fun at the time). The tree sat in a big three litre Cribari vino bottle upon which the Gus placed a blown up Food Lion Tussin label he had drawn with coloured pens. A little actual Tussin DM was actually added to the tree's water so it could tuss as it slowly died over the ensuing months.

Tussin Tree, the (2)-on New Year's Eve, prior to 1996, it was a fairly warm night, and the Gus, on Tussin at the time, sat under a great oak tree just behind Big Fun and felt so good that tears came to his eyes. That was the night he met Wonder Boy Neek. Maybe it was the Tussin, but the Gus hit it off well with both Wonder Boy Neek and the tree he was seated under, the latter of which he called "the Tussin Tree."

Twenty Nine North-the kafkaesque commercial strip corridor north of Charlottesville; a cancer of car dealerships, fast food restaurants, motels, and stereo equipment peddlers. Stoplights take weeks to cycle through their colours, and the highway is always under construction. But with every new lane comes the thousands of additional cars that justify the next new lane. Anyone with any sense considers the place to be Hell on Earth, ventured into only as one would descend into a level of Dante's Inferno. Morgan Anarchy lives in a depressing residential honeycomb somewhere to the west of Twenty Nine North.

two fitty-two fifty, a common price, either in cents or dollars. From black english, used especially by Matthew Hart and the Gus.

Two Point Five Children-a punk rock band whose members consist of Dennis, a Scorpio; Brandon, a Capricorn and a number of others who have never been to Big Fun. Members of Two Point Five Children had been living the good life on the beaches of Mexico, and on their way back home to Philly, they decided to swing by Big Fun to visit Brandon's childhood friend, the Pegger. While staying at Big Fun, two members of the band were the recipients of the sappy romantic urge that lies coiled in the otherwise frigid heart of every Gemini.

Tyrone-a fictional afro-american consulted especially by Matthew Hart, the Gus, Zachary and Josh Smith about the propriety of actions and events. This term is also used to refer to an afro-american personality that sometimes manifests himself within the body of Zachary when Zachary has been drinking lots of gin.

ugly mean and nasty-what Jessika normally tells creepy guys that she is when they compliment her on her beauty. Jessika says that she made a series of tee shirts with this phrase on it when she was younger.

uh huh-an expression of acknowledgment, but not necessarily an expression of agreement. In Big Fun, it is pronounced with a characteristically Philadelphia enunciation pattern, that is, as though the person saying it is really bored and with as little emphasis given to the first syllable as possible.

uh huh, the-the act of sexual intercourse.

ultimate faux pas (1)-for a guy, when being threatened by an irate girl armed with a weapon, to state that violence turns him on in a sexual way. Sara Poiron coined this term the night of the infamous house warming party (see); Bad Toast had committed the first-ever so-named "ultimate faux pas."

ultimate faux pas (2)-for someone, particularly a male, to molest his sleeping bed partner in the context of a non-sexual relationship between the two. This is a term from the lexicon and experience of Shira.

Unabomber-the newspapers tell us that the Unabomber is a cool guy with no social skills who lived in a tiny cabin in Montana and periodically mailed letter bombs to the people most active in the cause of replacing human society and the natural world with a network of machines. Since the Unabomber's supposed capture by the FBI, his anti-technological manifesto, originally typed on a manual typewriter, is one of the hottest items to download off the Internet.

The Unabomber has all the characteristics of a Big Fun hero: he is hard to categorize, detached, intellectual and witty, he hates technology and he likes to fuck shit up. One evening on the Corner, Sara Poiron was in rare form, insulting complacent Wahoos for their tolerance of a great bronze statue celebrating white man's triumph over Native Americans. She went further, and insisted that the FBI had captured the wrong person and that she is the Unabomber, and that her next target would be "that awful statue." As Sara shrieked these things into the warm evening air, she attracted a segmented crowd in the great honeycomb that is the Corner Howard Johnson-weary travelers looking out to see the seemingly impassioned Gemini addressing them from below.

University of Virginia (UVA)-the jewel in the crown of the Virginia public education system, the University of Virginia, founded by Thomas Jefferson, is well provided for by the Commonwealth of Virginia. Most legislators send their kids to UVA, and so UVA can usually expect to see a generous fraction of the funds used to support public universities when budget time rolls around. As a consequence, UVA tends to be wasteful of the resources it can get so easily.

For Big Fun, this means commodities such as chemistry equipment, typing paper, and free print outs of any hare-brained flyer someone struck with initiative wishes to create. Along with the university comes the students, their expensive mountain bikes, their parties, their santa clause, their beer, their betties, and the cool stuff they throw away when all they want to do is leave town.

At Big Fun, UVA is seen more as something to be mocked and exploited than revered and attended. Part of that mocking was well accomplished the night that Morgan, Ray, and others thoroughly spray painted the rotunda, the holiest of holies wherein lies a copy of (drum roll) the Declaration of Independence, signed by Thomas Jefferson on July 4th, 1776 (a fact that makes the United States of America a Cancer).

Upattinas-an alternative school to the west of Malvern that all the anchorless alternative kids in the greater Philadelphia area end up attending. The name is a contraction of "Up at Tina's." Tina was, legend has it, the hippie founder of the place. The rules of Upattinas are...well there are none. It is run under the principle of anarchy. The first few months after arrival, new kids rejoice in their freedom, taking drugs and having sex and skipping classes. But then guilt sets in and they buckle down and accomplish something. At least that is the idea.

A good notion of how such a school is run can be gained from a reading of Summerhill (by A.S. Neill, ©1960, Hart Publishing, New York), a book the Gus found fascinating when he was thirteen years old (some fifteen years ago).

Uranus-the seventh planet from the sun, Uranus rules Aquarius. Recently Uranus has been hanging out in Aquarius, making astrologic conditions fairly turbulent. Uranus represents individuality and desire for rebellion. Since Uranus moves very slowly, most people in the world of Big Fun (everyone from Jατασyα to Jessika) have Uranus in Scorpio, which is supposedly one of the best places for it to be. Sara and Farrell have Uranus in Libra, while the Gus has it in Virgo.

vegas-a mysterious term used in the Spring of 1996 by Phil Ginini to label individual Malvern Girls, particularly Sara. He says that Sara reminds him of Las Vegas.

vent, the-one must be careful what one says in the kitchen or in Jessika's room, because there is an air vent connecting the two. Most people who have been around Big Fun for any amount of time have heard unkind things said about them in third person through this vent.

Venus-the second planet from the sun. In astrology, position of Venus bears on creativity, means of seeking calmness, and the way relationships are formed and maintained. Venus rules Libra and Taurus. Venus in a fire sign (Bad Beef, Michæl Nace, Deya, Shira, Sara Poiron, Allie Vining) implies passion, jealousy, brevity, and enthusiasm in relationships. Venus in an earth sign (Jessika, Johnny Boom Boom, the Gus, Jennn) implies practicality and opportunism in relationships. Venus in an air sign (Theresa, Morgan, Josh Smith, Matthew Hart, Jατασyα, Zachary) implies idealism, intellectualism, lack of passion, longevity, and communication in relationships. Venus in a water sign (Peggy, Farrell, Nathan VanHooser) implies jealousy, attachment, creativity, and fundamental union in relationships. The worst place for Venus is probably Capricorn (the Gus) and the best place is probably Pisces (Farrell).

Venus Constant-what Jennn introduces herself as at parties such as the Jehu End of the World Party.

vibe-the way "energy" is transmitted among people and objects. Physics is not well understood by most holistic types; certainly not by members of the Big Fun community. What "energy" and "vibration" means to them is largely derived from rambling books of the ersatz Carlos Castaneda variety, that is, written by prolific literate lunatics.

What "vibe" means to Big Fun types is best exemplified by a sample of its use by Mellow D. Once, when someone was complaining about the spoiling of food in the Big Fun refrigerator, Mellow D suggested that the proximity of a large wooden trash bin might be sending a "trash vibe" into the refrigerator and facilitating the premature decomposition of food.

Vikings-The standard definition of Vikings isn't particularly interesting. Here, let me present what Eric the Huffanator Huffman thinks Vikings were-tough white people who lived in Scandinavia and kicked the asses of weaker races all over Europe, North Africa, and Eastern North America. Some people may recall those pictures of Vikings and be deceived into thinking they had horns on their helmets. But no, that is just a vicious rumour started by namby-pamby and too-often pillaged Christian Europeans to paint the Vikings as satanists.

vino-wine. The Gus buys lots of wine and he calls it vino, and so now everyone else does too.

The Gus' longtime Oberlin girlfriend, Leslie Montalto (a Cancer) had a wonderful Italian grandmother (a Capricorn), and once at a baptism party in Baltimore, this grandmother, whilst drinking some Dr. Pepper or the like, saw the Gus with a full glass of wine. She hailed him and said, "What is that you are drinking?" and the Gus said, "Wine!" and she said, "Why I am I drinking this pop for, I want the vino!" and the Gus went and fetched her some.

vinyl pants-pants actually made out of vinyl. The material looks a little like a cross between cowhide and garbage bags. I must confess, I'd never really noticed anyone wearing vinyl pants until I started hanging out in Big Fun. It is without question a part of the emo fashion. Jessika, Sara, Jennn and Shira all have vinyl pants. I haven't seen any boys wearing them yet.

Virginia-the state farthest north in "the South" of the United States of America. Virginia is a conservative state where the flag, shopping malls, the replacement of nature with industry, economic growth, traditional family values, the exploitation of un-unionized labour, the unquestioning worship of the masculine God, the mowing of grass, the widening of highways and other such manifestations of conformist lemming behaviour are given the support of all the conspiring powers that be: the press, the politicians, the judges, the schools, the churches, and such private men's organizations as the Elks, the Lions, the Rotarians, the Ruritans, the Masons, the Jaycees, and the Ku Klux Klan.

Charlottesville is the intellectual capital of Virginia, and the fact that Charlottesville is completely unlike all other places in the state is damning proof of how complacently vapid and brutish the rest of the state is. Virginia has slipped into such a sorry condition from a heroic revolutionary past, when punks like Thomas Jefferson called for "a revolution every twenty years."

This is a map of the part of Virginia most heavily trodden upon by Big Fun people, showing the locations of places mentioned in this glossary:

Virgo-the 6th sign of the zodiac. The sun passes through this sign in late August through mid September. This sign is a mutable earth sign and people born with heavenly bodies, the horizon, or most particularly the sun in it tend to be analytical, critical, modest and desirous of perfection. The sign is typical of people who are anally retentive, fussy, and good with numbers. The only sense of humour they have is sarcasm. Famous people who have Virgo for a sun sign include Lyndon Johnson, Leonard Bernstein, Michæl Jackson and Peter Falk. Virgos known to Big Fun include Peirce and Nelly, Sarah Kleiner, Sundew, John Hormone, and Eric the Huffanator Huffman.

Vitaman, the-the lead singer for the Vitamen. He came to Big Fun in early May 1996 and took the "Scottsville punks" (Jessika, Sara, Shira, Josh Mustin, Morgan Anarchy and Justin the Capricorn) back to Charlottesville, to a party at the house wherein lives the female singer for the Dub Liberation Front (a self-proclaimed "New Wave" band, whatever that means). The Vitaman seemed to be eager for action; he made a punkish show of kicking over trash cans and such, but he seemed to be especially looking forward to the occasion when the Scottsville punks would start fucking shit up. Sure enough, eventually they did. Justin felt the Vitaman needed to be exposed, and assaulted him with lines such as "Do not talk to me. I just don't like you. You're not kind; I know your deal, Mr. Living-on-the-Lawn/fake punk rocker." Then Jessika vomited beautiful burgundy vino all over the Dub Liberation Bathroom while Morgan dumped Dub Liberation Vodka out into the trash. Morgan was disgusted by the entire evening because he felt the girls, particularly Sara, were "sucking up" to the Vitaman.

Vitamen, the-the only punk rock band that plays with any regularity in Charlottesville. They play very well, and their music has an energy that just makes you want to jump up and down and mosh, especially when they play at the Tokyo Rose to a mob of drunks. Morgan Anarchy and Ray Snabley think that the Vitamen are a bunch of Wahoo posers who don't live the sentiments expressed in their music. Morgan felt so strongly about this that he socked the singer of the Vitamen in the face one night at Trax (because of this Morgan has been told he can never go to Trax again). The Gus, who has no idea what the Vitamen sing about, likes the Vitamen and doesn't care if they are a bunch of posers since he considers himself to be the biggest poser in Charlottesville. Sara Poiron has befriended a number of the members of the Vitamen, and occasionally invites them out to Big Fun. What will happen at Big Fun when alcohol, the Vitamen and the boys in black all intersect remains to be seen. It should be noted that the Vitaman has stated that he cannot recall Morgan Anarchy socking him in the face.

vitamin L-a term used at times to refer to Lysergic Acid Diethylamide-25 (LSD-25), whose molecular structure is displayed at right.

Volvo Green-a sort of dark green that can only really be found on new Volvos. The Gus thinks that Volvo Green would be a good hair colour, but it isn't easy to achieve, according to Sara Poiron, who in any case thinks green hair is an obvious outrage and thus stupid.

Vomit Comet-on a certain rare warm Sunday in February, it was decided by everyone then at Big Fun, including a sizable Philadelphia contingent (2.5 Children, Johnny Boom Boom, etc.), that a trip up to Sugar Hollow (off in the distant Blue Ridge) was in order. The Gus rode with Matthew and Zachary in Matthew's car. As he often does, the Gus sat in the back seat (he's a "shotgun martyr").

That morning, both Matthew and the Gus had been rather hungover, but never letting that stop them, they'd both drunk four ounces each of Tussin DM. They wanted to have a daytime Tussin experience. Well, all those curvy roads took their toll and Matthew was forced to pull over and vomit (Shira witnessed this with some mirth from Cheap Wheels, following behind). Later, though, the car was going too fast and Matthew had to puke on the run. He did not get entirely out the window, however, and the Gus, sitting directly behind him, experienced all sorts of wet things hitting him in the face. Zachary caught a bit of that yawn as well. Zachary has a very weak stomach; he hadn't drunk any Tussin, but suggestion means a lot to him. Unfortunately, though, by now the Gus had moved over behind Zachary. So when Zach puked, the Gus caught some of that too. Lucky for the Gus, Zachary wasn't driving and was able to get most of his production out the window. This is a testimonial to the constitution of the Gus. He had hangover indigestion, he had drunk four ounces of Tussin DM with Gwakanessin, he was car-sick from Matthew's high-speed curve maneuvers, he was puked on by two different people. But he did not puke. No, he had a fine Tussin experience. Matthew's car now had spattered patterns going down the outside on both sides, and little snarls of American cheese adhering to the inside ceiling. It was at this time that the car was dubbed the Vomit Comet.

Vulture House-this abandoned house on Fairview Farms (somewhat southeast of the mansion area) was discovered by Jessika to house a number of turkey vultures. Later, on an exploratory mission at night using candles for light, Morgan, Jessika, Matthew Hart and the Gus discovered at least one vulture nest containing two spotted eggs in a closet. Typical of turkey vultures, the eggs were not contained by any structure; they simply lay on the floor. The commotion of the incubating vulture bumbling around and taking flight in the dark so frightened Matthew Hart that he was forced to seek protection behind the person of Jessika. The creepiness of that particular night was made all the more sublime by the clear presence in the sky of the comet Hyakutake, its tail going a quarter of the way across the sky. Matthew Hart has compared the stone age conditions of Big Fun in blackout (a late April 1996 phenomenon) to those of Vulture House.

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