"180901") { //echo "My parents gave me a $4 birdhouse for a wedding present."; //header("location: /"); } else if ($querystring> "080403" || $querystring =="" || contains($querystring, "-") || contains($querystring, "=") ) { //header("location: http://asecular.com?080403"); } if (strpos($_SERVER["REQUEST_URI"],"?")>0) { list($root, $querystring )= split("\?",$_SERVER["REQUEST_URI"]); if(contains(getIPaddress(), "216.12.") ) { if($querystring< "200510") { //echo "My parents gave me a $4 birdhouse for a wedding present."; //header("location: http://goggle.com/"); } else if ($querystring> "080403" || $querystring =="" || contains($querystring, "-") || contains($querystring, "=") ) { //header("location: http://asecular.com?080403"); } } if (strlen($querystring)>6) { $datecode = substr($querystring, 0, 6); $behavior= substr($querystring, 6, 1); } elseif ($querystring=="_") { $behavior="_"; } else { $datecode=$querystring; } } function gusage() { $datearray=getdate(); $todayyear=$datearray["year"]; $thenyear=1968; return($todayyear-$thenyear); } function sinceslacker() { $datearray=getdate(); $todayyear=$datearray["year"]; $thenyear=1998; return($todayyear-$thenyear); } if ($datecode. "" =="") { $datecode=latestdatecode(); $title="Asecular.com"; $description="Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state."; } if ($behavior=="-") { //echo "##"; $datecode= substr($datecode, 0, 6); $displaydata=asecularmonthentries($datecode); $title.=": " . datecodetomonthname($datecode) . " ". datecodetoyear($datecode) ; } elseif ($behavior=="=") { $datecode= substr($datecode, 0, 6); $displaydata=asecularyearlinks($datecode); $title.=": " . datecodetoyear($datecode); } elseif ($behavior=="_") { $datecode= latestdatecode(); $displaydata=asecularallyears(); $title.=": complete archive"; } else { $content = asecularRawData($datecode); //echo $title . "-"; if ($title=="") { $title=parseRanTitle($content); } $description=parseRanDescription($content); //die($content); $displaydata=asecularEntry($datecode, $content, $behavior); /* if($datecode>"160416" && $datecode<"171102" && !inList("170731 170502 170801 161226", $datecode)) { $title = "

This article is offline

"; $description = "Sorry, nothing here!"; $displaydata = "

Content is currently offline.

"; } */ //$displaydata=asecularEntry($datecode); $displaydata.="

For linking purposes this article's URL is:
http://asecular.com/" . $rootFile . "?" . $datecode . "

"; $displaydata.=EntryNav($datecode, $behavior); //echo $title . "-"; } ?> coming soon
Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").

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