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kratom and Adderall
Saturday, May 7 2016
Gretchen sleeps on the side of the bed where one can look over and see the dog bed where Eleanor traditionally slept. She'd been there every morning, but of course this morning she was gone, never to return. Her bed was one of several items in her estate that will pass down to one of the dogs or cats. Probably the most-coveted of her former possessions is her fake fur, which she was lying on when she died.
Gretchen got up early to drive down to Sarah Lawrence College to attend an alumni event (that was where she got her Masters degree), but she found it so stupid and pointless that she left early.
Meanwhile, I took the dogs on a walk into the forest, but when, after only about five minutes, they abandoned me somewhere along the Gullies Trail, I decided to just go back home. They returned twenty or thirty minutes later from whatever self-guided forest experienced they'd come up with. Happily, this time Ramona hadn't rolled in anything.
I'd planned to buckle down and do work for all my old clients this weekend so I could focus on my fulltime job during the coming workweek. I made some good progress, but then Gretchen returned earlier from Sarah Lawrence than expected and I ended up watching teevee with her (including some of the new Kamau Bell show on CNN, United Shades of America, specifically the episode where he went into San Quentin Prison). Later Susan, David, and Susan's brother Michæl came by to pick up Gretchen so they could all see a showing of Purple Rain in Rosendale. They also extended personal condolences regarding Eleanor and visited her gravesite, with its tidy little circle of small stones. It's a Jewish custom to place little stones on Jewish graves, and so they all did. For Sally's grave, the custom is to place pinecones, but I've been so good at putting all the pinecones I find there that Susan couldn't find any loose ones.
Once they'd left, I ground up 25 milligrams of extended-release Adderall in my second mortar & pestle, mixed it with hot water, and drank it. I then turned my attention to continuing the work I'd hoped to be working on earlier. Unfortunately, though, I soon discovered I didn't have access to a feature set I needed to access to do one of my bigger tasks. So I turned instead to the latest directions for UI churn on Alex's web app, the one that interfaces with Adobe Lightroom. The direction of the churn this time is from a light-grey-on-dark-grey UI (like contemporary Adobe applications) to a black-on-light-grey-or-white UI (the model suddenly being Paypal). I dutifully did the work, finding (in the process) yet more places where I had hardcoded colors in the PHP and Javascript.
When that was finished, I decided to buy myself drinking rights by painting a picture, in this case of Neville resting his muzzle on Clarence. Here is the result:
I stayed up late, adding kratom and marijuana to the mix. By the time I called it a night and lay down on the living room couch, my body was tingling with sensations and my vision was filled with weak hallucinations of repeating low-contrast textures. I kept feeling ominous aches in my chest that always turned out to be bubbles passing through my intestines.
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