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the next level
Monday, May 24 1999
The weekly company meeting happened this morning, and as usual, the final talk was given by the Grand Pooh Bah. But there's not just one Grand Pooh Bah anymore; there are two. The second, Grand Pooh Bah II, was hired several weeks ago. He's a big name in the corporate world; I think there was even an article in Forbes Magazine about him. But he can't give a convincing, rousing motivational speach like the founder, Grand Pooh Bah I can. To me he comes off as unconvinced of the things he says, like his heart really isn't in this job yet. And he's especially bad at the delivery of the company buzzphrases; he tends to overuse the few he's picked up (especially the oft-overused "we need to take it to the next level") while failing to insert them at the strategic turning points in the delivery, a skill where the Grand Pooh Bah I is The Master. Another serious rhetorical shortcoming of the Grand Pooh Bah II is his extremely weak sense of humour. For the most part he comes across as some sort of Mr. Rogers, but with a rather off-putting condescending quality that the famous sweater-shedding PBS children's host somehow manages to avoid. To me it rings hollow and phony.
As I was riding home tonight, I passed a group of adolescent girls at the bus stop on the corner of Cable and Voltaire. For some reason I knew what was about to happen, even though this sort of thing probably hasn't happened to me in a good ten years. One of them shouted out to me in a desperately sultry, though still-immature voice, a voice seasoned with genuine adolescent loneliness but no serious emotional scars, "Hey you! Come here! I love you!" Surely she wouldn't have shouted that had she been alone, or had she known how old I am.
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