Monday, February 11 2008
My cold was back with a venegeance today, the worst it had been so far, keeping me on my back for most of the day. I spent some of that time in front of the television, but I don't usually have enough coming in on my Tivo "season tickets" to maintain much of a teevee marathon, particularly when I've been sick and having teevee marathons for days.
Other than teevee watching, there aren't many things one can do when sick. You can stare at the wall, and if you're lucky delerium might provide some entertaining animations. Reading is usually impossible, but (interestingly enough) masturbation is often still possible. Indeeed, choking the blind cave snake is probably the only way to successfully navigate a really terrible hangover. I myself have to be in terrible shape not to be able to squeeze one off, but today my complete impotence was a strong indication of how ill I truly was.
I think the single worst of all my problems was a horrendous sore throat, which was so bad that I had to brace myself before every swallow.
This evening Gretchen and I watched Blazing Saddles> as recorded by Tivo off basic cable (the obscenities, including the many utterances of "nigger," were all silenced). Gretchen, who had seen the movie many times before, seemed more entertained by it than I was. It just didn't seem to have the humor density of a modern laugh epic, though in its time I'm sure it broke records. In one respect it has never been surpassed: the extent to which the fourth wall was dismantled in the final ten minutes. For it to have been broken down any further would have entailed the installation of fresh explosive movie screens in theatres prior to each showing.
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