half the film of your life
Tuesday, July 30 2013
By today those leads had dried up and I found myself updating my profile on Dice.com, hoping to give the tree of opportunity another shake. This time, as a measure of my desperation, I added my phone number to my Dice.com profile. I don't like calls from random American cities offering me jobs if I'm willing to relocate, particularly when I can barely make out what is being offered. (Why are so many recruiters Indians with barely-intelligible accents who make calls over terrible phone lines?) But I need a goddamn job!
The absence of leads today had me feeling kind of depressed and worthless. As I've grown older, I've found it's become easier to experience a feeling of worthlessness. This is related to the diminishment of life's potential. When I was 14, I could have been anything and it was easy to be an optimist. But when you're 45 and half the film of your life is already in the can, there are a lot of things you will never be even if you're already Steve Jobs or Pablo Picasso. But I'm just some guy looking for a crappy web development job who can't even motivate himself to build a Raspberry-Pi-based robot.
It definitely brightened my mood, though, to walk to the salt water pool with Gretchen and the dogs and go for a swim.
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