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failure with an empty Modelo can
Friday, August 19 2016
location: rural Hurley Township, Ulster County, New York
It was a fairly typical day at the remote workplace, though I spent a little more time than usual helping Ni, the one woman on the IT team, as she dealt with a puzzling API issue that ultimately proved to be the result of something our boss Da had done months ago. I'd plans of perhaps cutting out early, since the plan was to drive up to the Adirondacks for a few more days at the end of the cabin rental Gretchen is still taking advantage of. But by the end of my workday, I was mired in a weird problem where funny characters (all of them being a capital Å) kept poisoning my SQL but couldn't be filtered out or replaced. The solution ended up being to run it through some online string-cleaning website and then copying the result from the rendered HTML of the result page. By then, though, it was already 8:40pm.
A beautiful golden mostly-full moon was just rising in the east as I hit the road in the Subaru Legacy, and it stayed to my right as I headed northward the many miles necessary to get to Minerva, New York. I bought a 12 pack of Modelo for the drive, and managed to drink three of them over the course of the 150 mile drive. I stopped along the way at the New Baltimore rest area (which serves both north and southbound traffic using a bridge for the northbound traffic) and got an order of fries at the Roy Rogers. By then I was listening to the Snap Judgment< wherein James Judd detailed the differences between a regular cruise and a gay cruise. (Highlight: had the Titanic been a gay cruise, that iceberg wouldn't
have stood a chance; it would've been turned into daiquiris before it could do any damage.)
Somewhere on the endless dark highway between Albany and Minerva, I decided to try urinating in an empty Modelo can. Judging from how wet I managed to get my shorts, only about two thirds of the urine made it into the intended receptacle. I made such a mess of things that I stopped and changed into another pair of shorts on the access road to the cabin.
Earlier today, Nancy and Sarah the Vegan had driven up to the cabin with Nancy's dog Jack, and Jack was the first to notice my arrival. He was wary of me at first, and wouldn't let me touch him until Gretchen, Neville, and Ramona had welcomed me first. According to Gretchen, Jack had been having an unusually good time. As for Sarah and Nancy, two bottles of wine had been drunk and they were deep asleep. In hopes of counteracting a Vyvanse I'd taken this afternoon, I added an ambien to my gin as I sat at my laptop in the cabin's living room, so of course I don't remember making the decision to fall asleep.
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