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Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   Rapture's special graduation menu
Saturday, May 18 2002

setting: Hogwaller, Charlottesville, Virginia

Today while Jessika was out at the abandoned Rockfish Gap tunnel showing it to another of her friends, I was over at the University of Virginia's Cocke Hall for most of the day making use of their computer facilities. They've been extensively upgraded since I last used them in 1998. Back then I mostly used the Macs, which ran at 220 MHz as I recall. These days in Cocke Hall there are only a few odd iMacs floating in a sea of sexy black Dell Pentium IVs. I chose one of these closest to the back window and managed to discretely drink some vodka (in this case Bowman's Virginia Vodka), one of the many things I normally do when seated in front of a computer.
Earlier I'd tried to call my childhood friend Nathan VanHooser from the Downtown Mall, but discovered that all the pay phones have been removed. Evidently in Charlottesville these days, the assumption is that phone calls made from public phone booths are exclusively for the purpose of arranging drug transactions.
At various times today I hung out in the Charlottesville Public Library, Mudhouse, and Christian's Pizza which is owned and operated by the guy who used to own and operate Sylvia's Pizza. Sylvia's Pizza, meanwhile, has been sold to some poor sucker and continues to operate on the strength of its good name. In a somewhat similar vein, Hawes Spencer, the owner of the Jefferson Theatre (where Jessika works) was recently ousted from the helm of the free weekly tabloid C-ville and went on to create his own free weekly called The Hook (featuring the somewhat-excessively-attributed photography of Jen Fariello). In the Mudhouse spent a considerable time reading both tabloids and getting caught up on contemporary Charlottesville goings-on.
When I rendezvoused with Jessika at the Jefferson Theatre, I learned that Nathan and Janine were in the theatre watching one of the flicks. So I hung out there for awhile (discretely sipping a vodka-fortified lemonade) until they came out.
During a break in the activity, Jessika and I walked over to Millers to see what Saras was up to. Last night she might have been tearing up the Tokyo Rose, but her "day" job is waitress at Charlottesville's most reliably acceptable tavern. Aside from the occasional photograph, I didn't interact with either of them while they talked about something or another and people trickled bidirectionally up and down the mall.
When Nathan and Janine materialized, they were with this other couple with whom they recently purchased a parcel of remote farmland in some sort of neo-back-to-the-land pinko-yuppie timeshare arrangement. They kept talking about a teepee, which is evidently the only building on their co-owned real estate.
In need of something to do as a group, we five went over to Rapture for beers and perhaps a light meal. The place was awash with gleefully schteveish University of Virginia graduates. Catering to their money-is-no-object parental support staff, Rapture had opportunistically swapped their standard menu of burgers and noodle dishes with a list of highfalutin specialties, each with its own exorbitant money-is-no-object price. All we wanted was a little basic sustenance, so either Nathan or Janine asked our strategically-sexy-but-not-the-sexiest waitress "Can we have something from the standard menu? I know it's graduation, but we're just townies." By this method we managed to obtain things such as burgers and fries. Our discussion covered a wide range of topics including the departure (but not death) of Nathan and Janine's long-time elderly basement resident. We also discussed Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which Nathan and Janine caught when it came to the Jefferson. Janine says she loves the soundtrack, particularly "Origin of Love." How can anyone with good taste not like that song?
The evening ended rather early, with Jessika and me watching Saturday Night Live with Jessika's boyfriend Daryl in his special video viewing room.[REDACTED]


Saras in front of Millers tonight, where she works as a waitress.


Jessika talking to Saras.


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