names of nonexistent rock bands
Tuesday, March 4 2008
The other day in the Onion was an article entitled "Girlfriend Changes Man Into Someone She's Not Interested In." It wasn't especially good by the standards of the Onion, but it did mention in passing the name of a great fictitious rock band, "The Heavy Petters." One of the great perks about being writer for the the Onion s that you have a worthy dumping ground for the names of nonexistent rock bands that have occurred to you over the years. The name I came up with today was "The Lingering Hugs," though my favorite of all time is probably "Post No Bills," which would be particularly comic when appearing in large type on a promotional flyer, many copies of which are stapled to an urban barricade.
On the desktop of my main computer is a file named ideas.txt where I put all the "great ideas" that occur to me. Each idea is dated and explained, though none are developed further than a single sentence. (Unfortunately I lost my first copy of this file when I accidentally overwrote it with a shortcut by the same name, so I started another and have it in a safe location, keeping only a shorcut to it on my desktop.) In this file are ideas for band names, teeshirts, bumper stickers, novelistic imagery, dotcom startups, "things Jesus said to the middle class," and even "abstinence-only education for seniors," though I now I fail to see why that last one is such a great idea.
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