Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   no cheap booze in the supply chain
Wednesday, January 26 2022
For the past couple days, I've mostly just been eating sandwiches containing vegan corned beef, kimchi, and thousand islands dressing. It's a good combination, particularly with high-quality bread.

At noon I drove to the Kingston Plaza in Uptown to get my usual staples, which I hadn't gotten in weeks, what with all the working from home and weekends at the cabin. In the Ghettoford Hannaford, everyone was wearing masks, though some people were walking around with their noses sticking out like dumbasses. (As for me, I was wearing a genuine N95 mask, the kind with straps that go around the back of the head.)
The list I had in my mind was heavy on the letter T: tofu, tempeh, and tea. But I also wanted antacids, diphenhydramine, mushrooms, pasta sauce, and some form of long, narrow pasta such as spaghetti. When I saw that on its somewhat picked-over, somewhat supply-chain-afflicted pasta shelf, Hannaford had bucatini, I had to get that of course. Next I went to JK's Liquor to get gin and whiskey. But there must've been pandemic-related supply chain issues, because all their cheap gin (the only kind of gin that I like) was gone. So then I went to the vodka section to look for cheap vodka, but all that was gone too. In the end I had to settle on a big half gallon plastic bottle of Grave's Grain Alcohol ($35 and 190 proof!) and a litre of Gary's Good Whiskey.
Next I went into the Walgreens to get get generic pseudoephedrine, which feels a little like trying to get into a speakeasy. You wait your turn at the prescription counter and then say (with as much confidence as possible) "I'd like generic pseudoephedrine," and then deal with the critical look to see if you seem like a meth smurf. The lady today didn't give me any guff, and the signature pad didn't care when I just scribbled on it randomly.

At about 5:00pm I began making bucatini with red sauce, as well as a pan of chonky seared tempeh with mushrooms and onions (both red and yellow). When Gretchen came home, she could tell I was "on something," though she couldn't tell what. I'd been drinking, but I left her in the dark about all that.


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