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not exactly dotcom fluff
Wednesday, June 6 2001
I came home for lunch today and my blood glucose levels were so level that everything in the universe seemed specifically arranged to torment me. John and Chun (Chun is now officially and very happily "between things") were hanging out in the living room deciding what to do for lunch. Their giggles, jokes and banter wasn't working well with my glucose-starved mental state, particularly because I suddenly decided to fix a household network problem before actually eating my lunch. I have a tendency to set up a system of self-rewards and deny myself until I feel I am worthy, even when, as was the case this morning, I'm clearly starving to death. Naturally, the moment I'd eaten a couple sandwiches, I was completely fine. I even ate a slice of pizza after Chun drove somewhere and picked up a couple of pies.
I had a feeling of success today at work as I neared completion of two different extremely complex applications simultaneously. This feeling was tempered, of course, by continued concerns about the long-term, mid-term, even short-term prospects of the enterprise. It's amazing how weak the job market is right now, how thoroughly useless Monster.com and various recruiting agencies are proving to be. Mind you, I'm not exactly dotcom fluff. Occasionally I feel like this is a post-Apocalyptic world, only one in which my mortgage bill still needs to be paid.
It's been a slippery slope, but gradually I've found myself listening to increasingly pleasant adult-oriented music as recommended by Nic Harcourt on KCRW. This is music by smart people for smart people, and often it transcends the contemplative folksy and finds a way to rock (even if it is in the manner of a little old man on a porch swing). If it's mainstream at all, it's pre-mainstream. I get the privilege of being so over it by the time it really takes off in popularity. My musical interests are fairly broad, but it bears noting that they are centered somewhere between the psychedelic, the fast and the heavy, and I think I've been starving a little for music in the latter two categories. So for the past few days I've been tuning my WinAmp player to The Spot Alternative on MinnesotaAlive.com. This particular station is a continuous advertisement-free stream of various kinds of metal, some ponderous and some fast. A lot of it is by bands I have never heard of, though they sound like they've borrowed heavily from the metal bands I liked circa 1990: Kreator and Sepultura particularly. The Spot Alternative also play a lot of tunes from a previously unknown variety of metal featuring extremely talented female lead vocals. I really love that shit. The only downside is the occasional song by an unknown contemporary blues band. Sometimes it's just fine to acknowledge your roots without actually listening to them.
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