Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   naps and house preparation
Saturday, June 30 2001
I woke up feeling completely horrible this morning, with multiple hangovers superimposed one on top of the other in a sort of anti-party of misery. Still, I had responsibilities to attend to and misery was no excuse. Since deciding to sell my condo (as opposed to renting it), I've been working diligently to make it saleable. It's as if I'm dealing with landlords all over again, though in this case I have no idea who the landlord is going to be.
This morning my focus started in the first floor bathroom, where I'd been painting the alley-derived medicine cabinet and fixing a part of the drywall which had rotted away due to little leaks from the shower. In the course of this I discovered that the toilet was backed up. I've never once had a backed-up toilet in this condo, so to get one at this late stage of the game seemed like a grave injustice. The moment John learned I had a toilet problem he knew exactly what had caused it: special wooden-shafted Q-tips he had accidentally purchased which his visiting brother Joe has been casually throwing into the toilet with every use. "You can't do that!" John had warned Joe, "they'll wedge in the pipe and back it up!" This hadn't seemed plausible to either me or Joe, so the latter had kept on with business as usual and now we were dealing with the consequences. When John heard me rifling noisily through my tools in frustration, he knew he was going to have to lend me a hand. So he drove me down to OSH hardware to get a plunger (as well as a variety of essential cleaning supplies).
The biggest achievement of the day was the removal of most of the black spots of mold growing high up on the cathedral ceiling of John's bathroom. To do this I had to fashion a custom tool consisting of a long piece of metal electrical conduit with a sponge attached to the end. Interspersed with these bouts of cleaning I took three or four naps during the course of today.

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