James has impressed Elly with his genius, but his ponderous unreadable prose has at times grated on Gabby.

J


ust to clue in all you online journal fans, Jain (formerly known as Javina) is "Posie" in fiancé James' journal, while Jain refers to James as "Orson." James has impressed Elly with his genius, but his ponderous unreadable prose has at times grated on Gabby. Both Jain and James have flamed Alan of Heinovision. And Alan has pissed off or frightened nearly everyone: Gabby, Spilthy Girl and Elly. Read his confessions; they're fascinating. There are other interactions to note: Jain has had online scuffles with Gabby, but she's physically visited both Scott of Words and Buck of the Meyhem Project. The online journal community has nearly all the rich texture of real life!

I have a terrible hangover today. But tonight things have every indication of getting crazier than even last night.

S


teve Weiner came by Comet while I was working to have me tweak the desktop and Apple Menu Items list of his inherited Powerbook. When he got up to leave, I saw he'd pissed his pants. He'd left a wet spot on one of the chairs and an unusual pungency filled the server room. What could I do? I moved the chair down to the end of the hall where it wouldn't offend me.

Steve is such a completely disgusting old man, words fail me.

B


ack at Kappa Mutha Fucka, I killed off the last of my Black Hooks and watched the teevee. Matthew Hart, Monster Boy, Cecelia and Leticia the Brazilian Girls, and Jesse (who was recently traveling and is soon to be attending Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond) all returned from Farmer Jack with a bucket of crawfish to cook. We sat on the front porch, cracking the little guys open and sucking up their muscles and disgusting yellowish alien innards. We tossed their cute red exoskeletons all over the yard, a display which later interested the neighborhood cats. By the way, almost none of the cats on Observatory have ever become friendly. They come to shit and play in our yard, but they won't allow anyone near them.

In various ways we further killed time in anticipation of a housewarming party tonight at Rory's place. For example, I went off to Olssen Hall to check my email.

They were all cut and nicked from the shards and were enjoying all the blood that was splattering over their clothes, the walls and the floors.

A


fter Matthew had picked up Leah from work, we all walked as a rag-tag throng down to the Haunted House. There was hardly anyone there upon our arrival. A few Curious Digit guys were plinking away on the piano and some of their lady friends were on the back porch with the keg, smoking cigarettes, laughing and talking. My friends and I took to the beers with our usual gusto, though some of us mixed better than others. While I, Matthew, Leah, and to some extent Monster Boy get along well with the various Curious Digit people, Jesse and the Brazilian Girls tend to interact almost exclusively with people they know very well, that is, us Kappa Mutha Fucka people and themselves. They spent a long time in the kitchen together, laughing and drinking and playing with a coffee mug that had shattered. They were all cut and nicked from the shards and were enjoying all the blood that was splattering over their clothes, the walls and the floors. In the end, Tyler got sick of their playful blood games and overall fascination with morbid gothic things. So he kicked them out. That was much later, though.

It's distorted and an exaggerated, I know, but it's hilarious, especially the increasingly fictionalized version I tell.

The guy who did or does manage the music at the Tokyo Rose, Darius, was there as well. He's had a number of alteractions with us Kappa Mutha Fucka/Big Fun people in the past, mostly related to us sneaking into shows or violently slam dancing. I told some of the Curious Digit contingent people (by that, I mean to include their lady friends) the amusing tale of the time Darius tried to kick me out of my own house. It's distorted and an exaggerated, I know, but it's hilarious, especially the increasingly fictionalized version I tell. Darius overheard me telling parts of it, and said he'd read the account I'd put on the Internet. He was amused to find himself described as a "large swarthy man." He also apologized to Matthew for being a bit heavy handed back in the days when we snuck into the Tokyo Rose. He explained that he was "under a lot of stress back then." At this point I really don't have any reason not to like the guy. After all, everybody who knows him seems to think he's a cool dude.

The tall Mod girl from Memphis, Amy, is back in town, and she came to the party. She and I sort of lost touch over the summer. She even lost track of the musings. Missing a single day can completely obfuscate the plot and leave you frustrated or indifferent.

At a certain point I was on the piano, banging out my usual little three note arpeggiated chords, singing a song that went like so:

I...chop off your head
And ask for your forgiveness,
I...chop off your head,
And ask for your hand in marriage
For looooooovvvvveeeee...
For looooooovvvvveeeee...

The ersatz Allman Brothers were drowning out all conversations throughout the house, and as Leah saw it, there was no alternative but to turn off the power.

Matthew Hart was singing along and harmonizing, occasionally tooting on a primitive little brass huntsman's horn. Meanwhile, a couple of Plan 9 classic rock guys (including the one with the mullet) were noodling away on electric guitars as if they thought they were the Allman Brothers. Trying to sing over their unimaginative din strained every aspect of my respiratory system, but evidently I've recently learned how to sing, since this did not leave me hoarse.

The ersatz Allman Brothers were drowning out all conversations throughout the house, and as Leah saw it, there was no alternative but to turn off the power. I used to resort to this technique when my dorm room needed to be evacuated back when I lived in Harkness. Leah had me help her find the circuit breakers and I went through them one by one until the racket came to a halt. Tyler was ticked off about that, but most people present enjoyed the brief dark moment of audible conversation.

Aaron the SHARP suddenly appeared in all his pissed-off splendour. He's friends with Tyler and so must be tolerated, but he despises both me and Matthew a great deal. Matthew is the most recent object of the SHARP's hatred because Matthew's presence is the reason he quit working at the C&O. And so it was Matthew who received most of the SHARP's daggerlike stares and snide commentary whenever out of earshot. In discussing Matthew with Leah, he repeatedly referred to him as her "punk ass boyfriend."

She loudly called him a "fatass piece of shit" and when he tried to make a rebuttal (with reference again to her punk ass boyfriend), she cruely questioned, "what did you say, fatso?"

The SHARP proved himself even more ludicrous than I'd ever imagined. Just as an example, whenever Matthew Hart or I would crack a joke and the SHARP started laughing, he'd catch himself and put a scowl back on his face. He wouldn't allow us the pleasure of making him laugh!

Then he confronted Cecelia the Brazilian Girl about her Alien Sex Fiend tee shirt, demanding that she name for him an Alien Sex Fiend song. He went on to claim that he was listening to Alien Sex Fiend before "you were even..." The point being of course that he was far less of a poser than she. [We all had a laugh at that one when we discussed it the next day.] I have never heard an "I was doing this in the early days and that makes me better" argument that has ever made any sense. It's invariably a symptom of someone with poser insecurity.

But the funniest thing of all, something I didn't see, was when Leah got totally fed up with Aaron the SHARP. She loudly called him a "fatass piece of shit" and when he tried to make a rebuttal (with reference again to her punk ass boyfriend), she cruely questioned, "what did you say, fatso?" Even the SHARP admits he's overweight.

D


arius and the Curious Digit guys & girls were all heading across town to a hot tub, and they invited me to come along. What the hell, it sounded like fun, so I went along. I didn't have any bathing suit, so I had to hop into the water naked. I was the first person there naked, but as we were getting out, most of the other guys were briefly naked too. Yes, I saw the butts of both Curious Digit Josh and Tokyo Rose Darius.

I returned home, checked my email, ignored lots of stuff about some dead princess, and went to sleep.

Josh drove me back to the party at the haunted house. The time was about 3am, and there was absolutely no signs of life. I returned home, checked my email, ignored lots of stuff about some dead princess, and went to sleep.

Deya apparently assumed that if I was going off to a hot tub with a contingent comprised partly of girls, I wouldn't be coming home tonight. So she came into my room with the intention of sleeping in my bed. I don't understand why her bed wasn't good enough; she was pretty drunk and had been doing some crazy things. So we slept together.

For linking purposes this article's URL is:
http://asecular.com/blog.php?970830