five minute bursts
Wednesday, December 20 2000
As my powers of computer wizardry increase, so too does my laziness. On an average day I can do the same amount of work as I did back when I didn't know very much, and it's much better done, but some days I can only do it in little five minute bursts of pure applied energy interspersed between hours of procrastination such as what I'm doing right at this moment. I think I've burnt out. I need a vacation sometime before I quit, get fired, or the company goes bankrupt.
I watched a Bathtubgirl.com webcast while I was at work today, since, for rich or for poor, I'm her tech guy and she frequently calls me at work to have me help her through some little problem or another. During the webcast she was dancing to the Carpenters in dedication to me, she said, since I happen to like the Carpenters. But, for all her talents, even Bathtubgirl has trouble dancing to "Close to You." It's just not a particularly danceable song.
People in my forum today were telling me that the design & development I've done so far on Bathtubgirl.com would have cost her a minimum of $20,000 if she hadn't had me to do it. After all, what other webmistress has her own custom content management system? Those puppies normally run in the half million dollar range.
Every now and then I need to go out and get a burger at the Carl's Jr. near 27th and Santa Monica. Today I went and ordered my usual, two Famous Stars, and would you believe it, those fuckers went and jacked the price from $.99 to $1.29! I didn't pay any attention until the nice Mexican lady (who's been working there as long as I've been going there) asked me for $2.79. Whatever, it was too late now. As I was leaving I noticed that Carl's Jr. is now promoting a new $0.99 burger called (Orwellianly, I would imagine), "the Big Burger." How's that for an underhanded technique: get people hooked on a certain brand of cheap burger, jack the price, and then introduce a price-class replacement and take another group of price-conscious consumers on an inflationary ride. I'll have to investigate exactly what it is that makes this new burger so cheap. As for the Famous Star, it's the same as it ever was. You get nothing extra for the extra money paid. What with all the fresh news about Mad Cow Disease, you wouldn't think now would be an ideal time to jack the prices on a beef product. Oh, but that's right, we're in America and cows don't get that nasty European disease here.
When I got to my house with my inflationary Famous Stars, I saw a guy parked across the street in an old-school GTE van, kicking back in the driver's seat reading something. I often see GTE vans parked with their drivers doing this. I wonder if there is a stack of porno mags in the back of every GTE van. Anyway, for a moment it crossed my mind that I should walk up to the van and say, "Hello sir, I've been in a coma for the past seven months and I have a question for you. Is it really true that GTE is now Verizon?"
The fat Fox Squirrel who lives in the bottlebrush bushes out in front finally came down to the porch today and grabbed a corn chip I put out for him yesterday. He's come down before for almonds put out by my housemate John. This particular corn chip was a special treat, a fully-intact corn chip, not the corn dust and broken shards found at the bottom of every depleted four-pound Smart & Final corn chip bag, remains which I normally put out for the wildlife at the base of the bottlebrush bushes. By the way, the only examples of wildlife in my neighborhood are Hummingbirds, Fox Squirrels, Crows, possibly some Ravens, Mourning Doves, and the occasional Pigeon. I've never seen a rat, but I'm sure they're around since I've seen plenty of humans thriving in their ecological niche.
Throughout the day I've felt myself gradually becoming sick. My throat is sore and there's a painful spot on my tongue. I'm tired and listless and have a tendency to absent-mindedly stare off into space. Perhaps I have Mad Cow Disease.
(Thanks to Anita for the rat link. Those Rat Patrol kids in Chicago are like a whole army of anti-consumerist Gus-types.)
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