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don't go to bed anxious
Monday, October 17 2016
I had a bit of a triumph today when, with rather little work, I successfully implemented a data synchronization that everyone at The Organization [REDACTED] seemed to think was extremely complicated. So that happened, and it made me feel good. But then later this evening, my colleague Ca (who is in charge of the clerical work behind our mass-mailing system) detected a strange anomaly. What had been a 170 thousand contact mailing had turned into a 400 thousand contact mailing over the course of the day. What the hell was going on? I looked at everything that could be responsible for it, but I couldn't find anything. I suspected the synchronization I was running had something to do with it, but how? This constituted one of the worst tech crises of my time on this particular job, and I could feel the tension building in my stomach and chest as I investigated. Occasionally I'd discover something that could've been really horrible was not in fact happening, and it would give me some relief. But the persistent insolubility of the problem put me in an anxious state when I headed off to bed.
I would go on to have nightmares in which our friends (the Photogenic Vegan Buddhists) had a volcano erupt along the side of one of their buildings, pouring out gas that killed various animals (and weakened an actual Big Bird). And then it turned out that both the of the Photogenic Vegan Buddhists had killed themselves in a murder-suicide and had their remains cremated and secreted away by their Buddhist spiritual advisor. I never have nightmares like this normally. The lesson here is to not go to bed without first solving any problem that is vexing you.
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