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Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   fox & xanax
Tuesday, March 26 2019
I made an unusual Tuesday visit to Bubby's at around noon today for my weekly vegan burrito (which I didn't actually get last week). Happily, this time it came without sour cream. As I ate it, I read an article on my phone about the two possible outcomes for an AI takeover: by bang and by whimper.
After work, I gathered yet another load of firewood from that big double skeletonized oak I'd found fallen over on the edge of the escarpment three or four hundred feet southeast of where the Stick Trail crosses the mighty Chamomile. Today the Chamomile was running sedately, and the few remaining puddles in the Stick Trail meant that I could wear Crocs instead of the rubber boots I've mainly had to wear all winter (mostly due to snow, though more recently due to snow-melt flooding).
I was in bed before 9:00pm.

[REDACTED]

In the middle of the night, both dogs ran out to bark at something. It wasn't a bear, but aside from that, the subject of their interest was a mystery. Eventually Ramona returned, but not Neville. At some point I went outside to figure out where he might be. I could hear his barking (which is much quieter than Ramona's) off near where the Stick Trail crosses the Chamoile. Also in that direction was a creepy high-pitched barking that I would later determine (based on YouTube videos) to be that of a fox. Since he wasn't far away, I decided to leave him to it. But then a half hour passed and he still hadn't returned. It was cold outside (in the 20s) and I was worried about him keeping warm, so I went out again. This time I could hear he was barking out behind the Greenhouse's house (our uphill neighbors). Also in that general direction was that creepy fox. So I walked into the forest in Neville's direction. I eventually found him and persuaded him to follow me home. What made that particular retreat especially creepy was that the fox kept barking at us as we did so. He or she even seemed to be following us, rubbing our noses in our defeat. I don't usually get scared when walking in the forest at night, but tonight I was really happy to finally make it into the house. That was when I took the xanax that finally put me to sleep.


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