Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   Sophie's dream
Saturday, April 8 2000 Sophie's view of the day:
{Spoken with an uncertain falsetto.)

Ah... I don't know quite what happened.
See, I had this dream last night and we were back in that old place where we used to live. Some of it was fun. For example, I got to see Sabbath, that muscular black Labrador down the street who is sorta like my boyfriend.
But the house where we used to live wasn't all that fun. All the things I like to sit on and sleep on were gone and the only thing left was the floor. So I had to sleep on old shirts worn by that cool guy Gus. In the dream these two ladies showed up. They kind of reminded me of the ladies that do checkout in a K-mart, but they were skinnier and used the word "yous" as a second person plural pronoun. Anyway, they came to the house while I was eating rainbow icecream that the cool guy Gus let me have. They must have been alright 'cause Gus let them in the house. I didn't feel the need to bark or jump or anything. My beard and my eyebrows had icecream in them and they were all sticky until I sat down and spent a long time licking my paws and wiping them off. The ladies went into the bathroom and the kitchen and ran a lot of water and made a lot of noise and sprayed stuff that smelled really bad and the cool guy Gus took me outside and I got to play with the little sausage dog next door named Simon. A Beagle came by, but he only cared about Simon, not me. I was mad at him for being such a jerk, so I barked at him. Meanwhile that cool guy Gus was hosing down the screens and washing the windows on the outside.
On the way back from the dream, I was sneaky and snagged a little gingerbread cake in the car, but I was busted. I always get busted when I snag food like that!


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