baby clams and kidney beans
Monday, November 13 2000
My housemate John went shopping this evening and brought home another $2 bottle of wine, this one a Cabernet. It tasted considerably less funky than the $2 Merlot had been a week or so before. We sat around talking about bleeding edge Microsoft technologies based around XML - all of which John quickly grasped. "How did you learn all this?" John demanded to know. "I don't really know any of it yet; I certainly don't use any of that stuff in my own programming," I replied.
John also told me about the time he was vacationing in Italy back before he was diagnosed with ADD (and given a prescription of ritalin). He found himself self-medicating on espresso, drinking three shots where an ordinary Italian native would have only one. Then one day he went to take a shit and evacuated a big black tarry blood clot. When he told his uncle (a medical doctor) about it, he suggested John lay off the espresso.
At about 2am in the middle of the night I awoke with a start, having a hypochondriacical freakout, the sort that normally follows my medical nightmares, except I hadn't actually been dreaming. I was convinced that my intestines were seriously messed up, filling with blood from some inexplicable hemorrhage, perhaps related to workplace coffee overindulgence and my quasi-alcoholic lifestyle. I tried to surf the web in search of medical guidance but as I read a web page about intestinal bleeding, I could feel my face going clammy and a hiss building in my ears. I was going unconscious! Lying on my bed, I passed copious quantities of intestinal gas, filling the room with the pungent stink of human liver. I feared I was dying and wondered if I should seek medical attention. In retrospect I think I was just suffering from the baby clams and kidney beans I'd eaten for lunch.
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